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24 May 2011 @ 07:54 pm
Texts From Last Night.....  
From my area code (780)

For the lolz and for reference in case I want to macro them later....

(780):

downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
 

(780):

She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
 

(780):

My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
 

(780):

It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
 

(780):

If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
 

(780):

He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
 

(780):

No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
 

(780):

I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
 

(780):

I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
 

(780):

Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
 

(780):

The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
 

(780):

girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
 

(780):

but the lizard people decide everything anyway
 

(780):

Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
me_maneuver: RHPS - Frank smirkme_maneuver on May 25th, 2011 02:24 am (UTC)
Hehe. I have a list of my favorites from all over that I have saved in a file somewhere. I've been collecting them for a while and they ALWAYS make me laugh. Perhaps I should post them... O_o

VERY FUNNY!
jennifer jensen: SGA: Con Plaidjenniferjensen on May 29th, 2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
They are so funny :D
Lou: supernatural - jensen guffawgottalovev on May 25th, 2011 01:31 pm (UTC)
I love that site. always good for a laugh!
jennifer jensen: SPN: Knight downjenniferjensen on May 29th, 2011 10:14 pm (UTC)
me too :D
nytel: Everyone Loves Donuts and Coffeenytel on May 26th, 2011 04:02 am (UTC)
Haha. Awesome. I love texts from last night. Those crazy Albertans... ;)
jennifer jensen: SGA: Mcshep in jailjenniferjensen on May 29th, 2011 10:14 pm (UTC)
Crazy is right :D