From my area code (780)
For the lolz and for reference in case I want to macro them later....
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?