jennifer jensen (jenniferjensen) wrote,
jennifer jensen
jenniferjensen

Texts From Last Night.....

From my area code (780)

For the lolz and for reference in case I want to macro them later....

(780):

downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
 

(780):

She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
 

(780):

My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
 

(780):

It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
 

(780):

If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
 

(780):

He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
 

(780):

No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
 

(780):

I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
 

(780):

I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
 

(780):

Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
 

(780):

The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
 

(780):

girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
 

(780):

but the lizard people decide everything anyway
 

(780):

Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tags: texts from last night
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